Say you’re walking down the sidewalk on a beautiful day. Someone who has internalized an outsider’s perspective of herself will often spend more time adjusting her clothing or hair, wondering what other people are thinking of her, judging the shape of her shadow or reflection in a window, etc. She will picture herself walking – she literally turns herself into an object of vision – instead of enjoying the sunny weather….
… Women are constantly being looked at. Even when we’re not, we’re so hyperaware of the possibility of being looked at that it can rule even our most private lives. Including in front of our mirrors, alone.
A guy once told my lesbian friend that being a lesbian is a huge turn off for guys and that she’ll never find a boyfriend.
Tell me about a time where a white child was killed and black people made a hashtag mocking their death, a Halloween costume mocking their death, or a celebration of their death in any way shape or from. NEVER!!
Black pride has never been about hating white people, but white supremacy has always been about hating black people.
But any woman can tell you that the parameters for likability are much more narrow for women than for men, and—insult to injury—men and women are both far less forgiving of women. As a reader and a viewer of film and TV, and as a feminist, my response comes easily: give me your Nora Eldridges, your Skyler Whites, your Hillary Clintons.
As a writer, though, I found the question of likability far more challenging to navigate.
I was 17 when I wrote [Better Than Revenge],” she reminds me. “That’s the age you are when you think someone can actually take your boyfriend. Then you grow up and realise no one take someone from you if they don’t want to leave.
I keep seeing these posts like “skinny girls stop complaining about anaconda because you know society idolizes you anyway and it sucks to not be thin” but like, I really don’t think any “skinny girl” is actually upset about anaconda. If anyone is complaining about one lyric in a song, it’s probably a troll.